Making the changes -

A point raised in my feedback was that my title wasn't overly effective and didn't suit the genre of horror, so I have changed how the title looks completely. I have given it a script font, a mysterious glow and a slow fading in and out effect so that it appears slowly on the screen. This image doesn't really do the title justice as you need to see it with the effects, but I'm a lot more satisfied with the result.

It was also brought up (by nearly everyone) that my titles in between the boy counting were too long and didn't work without any sound. So to correct this sizable problem, I have cut out some of the titles and will be slotting them elsewhere in my opening sequence (not sure where yet though). I now have the boy counting while the titles are playing so that the audience don't loose interest and it still manages to build up tension. 

The final thing that I have done is to change another one of my titles. I have made the word blue in 'Blue Steel Media' blue, and the rest of the font in a grey to make it link more closely to steel. I have also added in an effect to make it look slightly more interesting and professional, but you can't see this very clearly from the screen shot .

Further feedback -

Today in the lesson the class looked at each others opening sequences, to see how successful we have been so far and how we can all make improvements. These are the comments that I recieved from those in my class:

• Sometimes the voices are little too quite. Cut the man saying 'Found you'.

• I don't really like it being so silent at the beginning , maybe add something to keep us interested.

• Great storyline...love the backing track... a tad dark in areas...love the actress.

• Nice title order...good use of different shots...genuinely scared me! 

•Unsure of some of the textures on the production companies etc...unsure of order of titles...good use of different shots.

• Could made title fade in and out...very good!

• Make the names of the actors show for slightly longer...the backing track could have gone quietly through the counting bit, other wise the titles are slightly akward.

• Keep titles on longer?

• Maybe have the counting continued whilst the titles are playing?...sound is very good :)

• No sound on titles?...story line and genre developed well. 


So once again I have recieved  a mixture of feedback. The main focus seems to be on changing the order/length of my titles as well as changing the duration of the backing track; possibly adding some music aswell. So I now have an awful lot of changes that I need to be getting on with! YAY....

Audience feedback for first edit -

This is my first edit:








Now that I have finished my first edit I need to get some audience research, and to do this I have written a questionnaire and handed it out/ emailed to people of my target audience ( 16-25 males and females ).
This is what I have asked and some of the feed back which I have already received :


1. Do you understand the storyline and what is happening in the opening sequence?
Everyone has written YES which is a good start, along with explaining the narrative of a man killing/capturing children.

2. Could you mistake this opening sequence as a trailer? Please explain why this is.
• No as is not fast paced and doesn't end with the film title.
• No as you don't give away most of the story line and there are no fast cuts.
• No as it doesn't jump from one scene to another.
• It flows well and is easy to follow, making it more of an opening sequence.

3. What atmosphere do you think has been created, and do you think it suits the genre of Horror ? 
• Really tense, especially when he's counting.
• Suspense- especially the shots of someone going up the stairs. Yes suits the genre.
•Quite a scary atmosphere, especially with the eerie singing and weird man.

4. Do you think the sound track is effective?  If not, how can it be changed to improve it?
• Very haunting when sung by the small child. Maybe add an undertone of something else.
• I like the singing but you have no actual music, so this could be improved.
• Singing creates a dramatic mood and helps to build suspense.
• Creates suspense and you know something is going to happen to the children.

5. What enigma codes are raised when watching the opening sequence? ( what are you asking your self? )
• Who is the man?
• What is he doing?
• Why has he killed/captured the children?
• How could he get in?
• What have the children done wrong?
• Are the parents out?

6. Do you think the opening sequence has an appropriate pace to mirror the atmosphere? Should it be faster?  Slower?
• The pace is great.
• Yes I think it has an appropriate pace, tension is built well and suspense is created.
• Yes it creates suspense and the counting helps too.

7. Do you think the positioning of the titles is effective? If so why? If not, please explain how they can be improved.
• Yes I love it when the titles appear between the counting as it creates tension.
• There are too many titles when the boy is counting. Maybe cut them down to two or three but make them longer instead.
• Yes builds tension between the counting.
• Spread out well.

8.Do you think the characters are introduced successfully, if so what have you learnt about them? If not, please explain how this can be improved.
• The brother is clearly responsible, looking after his sister.
• We know that she is a scared little girl.
• Yes they are introduced well. The girl is excitable and the brother is fed up with her but tries to keep her happy.
• Erm yes, but you don't really find out much about the girl and boy- just that they look quite innocent. The man is good because you know that he is scary.

9. Do you think it contains sufficient dialogue to help narrate the story?
• Yes. Enough that you know what's going and explains the story, but not too much so that it stays creepy.
• Enough is used. any more would make it less dramatic. although I think you could replace the man at the end saying ' I found you ' with the girl screaming.
• Yes, however I don't think the killers voice is very convincing. Maybe end with 'we all fall down' from the nursery rhyme.

10. Has the setting been established clearly enough?
• Yes you have three different shots which is plenty.
• You show the house at the beginning which is typical of the genre, and works well.
• yes you can tell that it's set in a house.

Are there any other general comments or other improvements which you think could be made?
• Very good.
• I think it's good but perhaps you could introduce the man a bit more.



So I have got some quite useful feedback from my target audience so far. A lot of the comments highlighted the same points, which is good because it shows me that those things definitely need addressing. However other areas had mixed results, for example the titles which break up the boy counting; so I need to think carefully about how to improve these areas as it seems to be down to personal preference.

Titles

Seeing as I only have two days left to finish my first edit, I'm a little panicked at this moment in time.


I have tried to focus on getting all of my titles done today on Livetype, which thankfully I have achieved. However they aren't particularly inventive due me having a lack of time (this is my fault though so I can't really complain)


These are a few of the titles that I have included :

This title (production company) is probably the most interesting at the moment as its more dynamic than the others when it's played.

A futher title which I have instead used a special effect on - I think it was called cat eyes -to make it more interesting. I'm not really sure it links too well to the name of the company though, so I may end up changing this....we'll see.

I have a few titles where the names of the lead actors are displayed, as well as the producer and the person who has done the music. For these titles I have simply made the names fade on and off the screen at different times, as I was trying to achieve something simple.

This is the title of the film, which again I have presented quite simply. I have put in a shadow but I'm not overly keen on it or the font for that matter, so this will certainly be imroved at some point.


I do have a few other titles but there isn't really much to say about them as they are pretty basic at the moment and need refining.

Editing Day 4...

So as I have previously mentioned, I have now broken up the shot of the brother counting so that I can fit in the titles. Seeing as I have not yet done all the titles, it's hard to tell if this will be successful. It's something that I will probably find out about when I come to do my first audience feedback soon.


On a different point, I still haven't managed to find any music to suit my opening sequence and until I have, I don't think it will seem very professional. 
So it's likely that I won't have any music for my first audience feedback, but it's a work in progress and something that I'm very awear of.


In the mean time I'm playing with the idea of having the nursery rhyme repeated continually thoughout the opening sequence because I think this may be quite creepy. If I do this I will have to make sure that I lower the volume so that it's subtle, especially when there's dialogue. Although in places such as when the brother gets killed, it may be more effective to have the nursery rhyme louder as it is a dramatic part of the opening sequence. I will have to play around with different volumes to see what works best!

Editing Day- 3

Toady I have just added on the last remaining shots to the opening sequence and have also put on the little sister singing the nursery rhyme at the beginning. At the moment I'm not to sure whether it's obvious to the audience why there is a nursery rhyme playing and I could probably also do with fading it in and out better.

When I next come to edit I am going to change the order that the titles appear. The main way that I'm going to do this is by breaking up the shot of the brother counting, so that every two seconds it cuts to a title. I think I may make the cuts more frequent by the time he gets to 'six' by having it cut every one second in hope of building up tension. 


Fingers crossed that this will be effective!

Editing Day 2-

Sorry I haven't posted in a while seeing as it's been the Christmas holidays.


Today I have been continuing with the editing process, trying to get as much done as possible. I've pretty much put all of the shots into order and in doing so have realized that many of the timings aren't the same as I have story boarded. Some shots are longer, for example shot 12 where the brother is counting...

.... has ended up being 13 seconds rather than the original 10 that it was supposed to be. 
And quite a few shots have become shorter, for example shot 7 when the brother says 'Fine just one more game'...

.... which has become 3 seconds instead of 4 originally. With all of the changes in timings it has meant that I have now got 13 seconds to fill in order to make the opening sequence 2 minutes.  At the moment I'm not really too worried about the changes in timings because I still need to add in the titles in certain places which should hopefully make up the remaining time.




While in the process of putting the shots into order I have made sure that I'm leaving correct spaces to be filled by titles when I come to do them, so that it's clear to me what still needs to be done.

But that's all that I've done today!